Ummmm week 4?

January 29, 2011

Week 4
Weight 182 (-2)
Arm 13" (same)
Bust 36.5" (-1.5)
Waist 35.5" (+.5)
Hips 42" (-.5)
Thighs 25.5" (-.5)

crap. I lost count of the weeks. So sorry. I guess sometimes it'll be that way.

I'm not going to recap my goals really, since I was sunning in sunny Florida and didn't bother to make any. Unless you count not running out of money (barely made it lol) and catching the flight home (yup, did it!), because then, I guess, I made all my goals. Yes! Success!

Florida did wonders for my personality. Suddenly everything is possible,, and the world is bright again. No matter how daunting the task is I can handle it. Of course three days back in the real world with screaming, back talking, spoiled children, a nagging boss, and a house that seems to have exploded in my absence will wear on a person:-)

I have come to realize several things though. First off plenty of fat people are happy. Seriously. They hang with friends, have lovers, laugh and dance. Fat is not my problem. Fat is something I dislike and am actively working to change. It is an overcome able obstacle, and I doing everything in my power to change that.

My real problem has been shutting down. Putting myself in a corner and feeling like every thing negative that happened in my life was directly related to how people feel about me. I'm not a victim, but I was making myself into one. I'm not sure when my bright, sunny, positive, helpful personality changed, but I think it was when I got post-partum, so three years ago.

Of course I went to therapy, and that got me through the worst of it. I never needed medication, but that's really when it all came unraveled.

I quit taking care of my house, my yard, my-self. I did the minimum to get by. I have so much to make up for now, and I am working so hard, and really seeing progress. This is improving my mood, and my surroundings, and I am starting to see a path back to the person I truly am.

So there you have it. The key to happiness is to not be a miserable prig. :-)

It's Saturday, but this is going to count as the weekly for this next week. The next weekly post will be the 7th of Feb.

My goals for the week are:

Lose 4 inches
Reach the 170's
Catch up ALL paperwork for work
Deep Clean guest room
finish 3 more chapter's of The Mind's Power Unleashed
Create a new figure skating dress